notmyheart/ apathetically

thisisnotmyheart

Saturday, November 21, 2009 @ 5:43 PM
D-E-L-E-T-E

eevee smile

gah, the sooner i blogged that

i was happy with whatever already.

gah delete delete delete!!

@ 2:06 PM
broken facade. restored.

torture spams

the agony

where i carn see you

edited.

Friday, November 20, 2009 @ 10:29 PM
fooool

i feel sick, you know the digusted feeling that you sometimes have on your chest? well, its spreading around my body so gradually i dint notice till now. my body feels sick and gross.

there's proposal to hand in on mon. and bsp interview on tue. and strings outing on wed. and strings aint going well when you carn find the teacher to sign your leave forms. like !?. great huh.

life's been fooling around with me, and i let it. how nice of me, so submissive. this is revoltingly disgusting. what a fool i have been, what a fool.

Saturday, November 14, 2009 @ 7:12 PM
crying hearts of laughter

it hurts when you realised people dun like the way you are...

and it hurts even more when you realised they like the way you are freezed up...

it hurts to realised that the closest people do not know you at all

you are numb and feelingless

you start to panic and are helpless

desperate for hope and joy and happiness

to smile when you are in a dangerous home

sweet confort would be all you'll ever want and need

then you go crazy.

i want to know what love is

i want to know what caring someone means

i want to know if im capable of it

i fear the worst

i fear the darkness

yet i still embrace it

and carass it

whispers sweet nothings in its ears

and be engulf by it

you'll hear the happy laughter

while you show forced smiles and laughs

so fake its like real

cos its been there since forever

writing emotionly only when you are really upset

and exaggerate things and get upset all over

ha, what a laugh.

foolish humans,

foolish girl, you'll never...

Friday, November 13, 2009 @ 6:24 PM
new movie!!

This really cool movie i saw when we watched surrogates, the movie thriller... really nice!

It's called Legion..

ahhh, gotta catch it next year 2010! lolls. supposedly to b the year whereby the earth stops yeah? i read this comic which said something like the ancient person asked the one who did the calendar why the year stops at 2010.. and the maker replied, 'cos i ran out of space' i mean, its totally understandable yeah? who can ever predict the end of the world yar?

i somehow feel that sitting in front is pretty funn, where you actually can hear everyone and play the song cos you know where people are... gosh, but the stress level is pretty highhhhh. hahaha, i wonder if hannah would sit there instead if she hadn't quit strings and dhs. i wonder, i really do... people dun understand why i like to consider all pointers, but its kinda cool if you actually think about it... lolls.

they should be at chiangmai doing stuffs, right, im just... sigh, its okay i guess... im dying somehoww... ~~~ i hope the class i get in would be the one i want... im really scared so im really praying really really hard... please please please....

Tuesday, November 3, 2009 @ 11:23 PM
evilness what?

evilness on the prowl

beware.

its gonna be a really crazy week and holiday which is not a holiday

i repeat that every year, so obviously someone isnt getting her rest

and isnt updating her blog

which would probby explain why so little people came.

right.

lets go back to the main point.

ahem, so its a crazy week

where i reach home late

so i'll be cranky

and people who dun read my blog would not know

therefore experiencing my wrath.

perhaps. i might control it though

depending on my mood.

ha!

right back again to the main point.

came home late and tired

so no strength

and no fun on the computer

and rushing about

and not being able to enjoy the last days of jeno

oh well

at least i didnt regret anything

just that

i didnt say hi to shuhao.

i shall tmr morning.

i just feel bad

i dunno why

people tell me why ~~this person~~ shouldnt be an sc

but i feel that im not that im not good enough

i will jiayou! support me guys.

muacks. i feel so much better.

i dunno why

lolls. laugh with me. lwm.

profile

the apathetic one

stubborn and unwavering, standing at the ready
and unflattered by power
She has a sense of self-respect that runs close to arrogance,
as well as an unshakeable self-confidence and belief
She would not bow her head unreasonably
close to pure, that is, in eyes

She is amused, shown in her hardened black eyes
I wonder why?
Do you wonder what she does when she is not happy?
saa dou kana.. i know you do not want to know
its probably mind-blowing-ly terrifying
she is like a total control freak
And she is the one true perfectionist
Plus she's an utter egotist
She wonders why she is irrational
a questioned unanswered for five hundred and forty nine years
She is starting to feel the pull of music, and of life
and she wonders if she can live with it
whether or not she is capable
and she needs someone beside her,
supporting her quietly from the shadows
while she does her stuffs
She wishes there's someone
sometimes, its the Lord that's all that she wants
She also feels like she is blabbering
love it when she pays absolute attention to you
and special cares for you too
saa... see how you gether her data...
mada mada dane

number of deaths: 13
impending: 1

this is blog is dedicated to:
3. dedicated to those of manipulative minds
2. supportive of higher-order thinking
1. encouraging all purveyors of believable lies